During the wedding ceremony, most of us take the well-known vows with the firm belief that the marriage lasts a lifetime. We’re hoping that the commitment is for all eternity until death does us part, even in the hereafter. But people change, and after a while, our exceptions are not met; we’re having fights and notice that we cannot simply keep living this way. Divorces are a common practice nowadays, and no matter the reason behind the divorce, it’s always challenging, and it takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being.
Sometimes, they happen because the person turned out to be someone else, sometimes because goals and perspectives changed, and often, financial issues and troubles cause a gap between the spouses that cannot be filled easily. How to keep your head up after all this? How to walk with your back straight? In the text below, we’ll discuss some tips on emotional resilience after a divorce. Read on!
Acknowledge and Accept Your Emotions
The first step to creating emotional resilience is to make sure you’re accepting your emotions. Most of us believe that certain emotions should not be felt and we often have a wrong understanding of the human condition and what it means to be human and feel human. Anger, guilt, envy, jealousy, and happiness are normal things. You shouldn’t feel bad just because you’re angry at the person after the divorce, it doesn’t make you less of a person if you envy them.
The key is to understand that all this is a natural and positive response to a traumatic event and that anything that happens afterward is common. You’ll need to work hard to understand why these emotions are happening, and why you might feel the way you do. Is there anything else you should be feeling? Would it make any difference if you talked to someone about it? These are the real questions you should ask yourself—never the guilt trip just because you might be a bit sad.
Prioritize Self-Care
After a divorce, you’ll have more than enough time to think about all the things that you’d like to do or planned to do but never got the chance to do. Marriage often operates on a specific model of co-dependence. Although it shouldn’t be that way and you two should have activities beyond just the relationship you have, love often makes you feel like you’re missing out if you don’t share everything with your spouse. And although sharing is caring, often having a life of your own makes all the difference in the world. It’s a bit too late to talk about these things, but what we can talk about is the importance of self-care you should be prioritizing after the divorce. It’s time to make sure you’re rediscovering your passions, what you like and don’t like, and the activities you had on your bucket list for some time now and to try and pursue all this, as now it’s just you. The only approval you need is self-approval, and make sure to replenish your physical and emotional energy, making you more resilient in the face of stress.
Focus on What You Can Control
Divorce can create a condition of chaos and uncertainty; it seems like you’re losing your grip on reality, things are happening without your approval, and changes are going on that you never settled for. All this might make you feel more stressed than you want to be, and you might be wondering why. The answer is simple: we’re creatures of habit, and if anything out of the ordinary is causing disruption to this “peace” and sense of control, it feels as though you’re going down a rabbit hole that never ends. However, you can manage certain legal outcomes with the help of a professional. Getting a divorce lawyer might not solve all the problems, but at least you’ll get back that sense of control you’re losing, and you might still influence the outcome of the divorce. We advise going for someone local, as they know the specific laws and might be better acquainted with some legal complexities. You can always go for and search for divorce attorneys in Lake County or any other place and make sure you have someone with the right set of expertise at your side to help you at least regain something. It’s not a promise that they’ll be able to get exactly what you want, but the feeling of doing something, anything, and not feeling hopeless is often more than enough to give you the needed reliance you might be losing in the face of everything.
Establish a Support Network
Surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family, and professionals can significantly help you overcome this difficult period of your life. A support network of reliable people gives you the confidence boost you’re looking for, and if you’re having any second thoughts about the divorce, they’ll be there to remind you why you’re doing this and for who you’re doing it. Also, professional support from therapists or counselors can provide valuable insights and coping strategies, offering a safe space to navigate your emotions and challenges.
It’s paramount that you make sure you’re surrounded by people who are more than willing to understand your situation and help you navigate your emotions. Being in a toxic environment that judges your every move can only cause more harm than good, as you’ll feel less convinced about your decision to end things, plus you’ll feel yourself with a sense of constant self-doubt.
Embrace Change
Embracing change and discomfort, seeking new opportunities and chances, and making sure you’re doing things you never would be are all steps towards creating emotional resilience and making sure you’re handling the divorce and the aftermath more effectively than anyone else. Whatever happens, just view it as a chance for personal growth and self-discovery. Reflect on what you’ve learned from the relationship and identify areas where you can improve or pursue new interests.
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness means the state of being aware. It means constantly reviewing your steps and decisions and making sure you’re doing them out of belief and with certainty rather than because of someone else’s prejudice. Mindfulness means being in a meditative state that creates a supportive mental environment where your every move and idea are welcomed rather than frowned upon.
It takes some time, but with the right steps, you’ll eventually make that needed step forward to create a positive and supportive environment that helps you become resilient to all the changes happening.
Jessi is the creative mind behind The Coffee Mom, a popular blog that combines parenting advice, travel tips, and a love for all things Disney. As a trusted Disney influencer and passionate storyteller, Jessi’s authentic insights and relatable content resonate with readers worldwide.