The Dos and Don’ts of Divorce: Tips for a Smooth Separation

There is no natural way to sugarcoat the fact that divorce is often a messy, emotionally fraught period in the lives of anyone going through the process. However, as with all things in life, regardless of complexity, there are often right and wrong ways of going about things. This post is aimed at anyone going through this particularly harrowing procedure in order to help them come out on the other side with their sanity intact and, hopefully, a less combative relationship with their soon-to-be other half.

Do Hire A Great Lawyer

Perhaps the first move that you and your ex will need to make is to hire a lawyer to help facilitate the complex process and ensure that you both walk away with an amicable solution. However, because every state will have its own set of divorce laws, you must make sure to hire one where you are both residents. This means if you live in Salt Lake City, you will need a good divorce lawyer in Utah who is able to navigate the laws and regulations that pertain to that state, and the same is true in whatever state you reside in. Finding a great attorney is worth its weight in gold, as they are highly trained in the entire procedure, from the obvious, such as helping you to negotiate your finances, to the less apparent, like being there to help you deal with the emotional fallout and keep you on track.

Don’t Involve Children In Disputes

If you don’t currently have children, then you’ll find that a divorce should go far more seamlessly than if you had. Children are often the main sticking point in any divorce and, through no fault of their own, are usually caught in the middle of what typically becomes a highly acrimonious event. Throughout the divorce, you must always remember that you are an adult, and dragging your children into the courtroom will only cause them emotional distress that will stick with them throughout their lives. Moreover, the more you try to use them as a weapon, the more likely it is that any family judge you stand before will look very unfavorably on you, possibly skewing the outcome against you. 

Do Communicate Openly With Ex-Partner

Open communication is arguably one of the best things that you and your erstwhile partner can engage in. Being adults about the situation can help to resolve so many issues that needn’t become anything more than a mere negation away. Although some circumstances may not permit this (i.e., your partner is simply being too unreasonable), you really need to go out of your way to ensure things go smoothly and you avoid turning it into something that will end up costing you far more in the long run including your time, money and mental health.

Don’t Make Impulsive Financial Decisions

For those in this situation, it can be easy to let emotions get the better of you or to agree to things so you can get the process over and done with as soon as possible. Regarding the former point about allowing emotion to get the better of you, it’s likely that you might choose to sell things impulsively so you don’t have to give them away during the financial split. Or, it might be actively changing careers to a lower-paying one just so you can avoid paying child support. Either of these will result in severe penalties for you and really won’t look good. When it comes to trying to give away too much so you can conclude the divorce as quickly as possible, you run the risk of losing out on too many of the familial belongings. It’s best to consult with your lawyer and allow them to negotiate on your behalf so that each stakeholder comes away with a fair and reasonable amount.

Do Be Honest In Negotiations

When you’re dealing with anything related to the law, you need to remain honest. Any hint of dishonesty could lead you to lose more than you bargained for and possibly even leave you facing charges of perjury, which will ultimately turn what is supposed to be a civil matter into a criminal one. Outside of this, honesty is the best policy of the releases already discussed. You really want to go through this process with your head held high and with a certain level of respect for your ex or soon-to-be ex. This kind of honesty will set you up for a much better outcome and ensure that everything runs as it should without needing to progress things to a higher level, which will definitely cost you more resources.

Don’t Post Divorce Details Online

It’s best to keep your private life private if possible. Social media has kind of set a precedent that every facet of your lives must be posted, shared, and liked, even if it’s by those we hardly know. While this point is up to you whether you want to heed it, the more you post, the more you risk having it used against you as evidence. For example, if you post that you are getting divorced because your partner is violent or a gambler, etc., you could find yourself facing charges of slander, which will not only land you in a world of trouble you really don’t need at this moment but could cost you more than you bargained for during the divorce procedure.

Do Prioritize Mental Health Care

Divorce is never nice, and even if you manage to remain harmonious with one another, there will always be a nagging feeling in the back of your head regarding how things came to be and what comes next. Moreover, it can be extremely lonely as it tends to be the fact that most people will only share their innermost feelings with those they love. Try to find a support network that you can fall back on, and that can help you get through to the other side and get your life back in balance once more. This might be cooking family-friendly recipes with your kids to ensure that you retain some semblance of normality or hanging out with friends and family.

When going through a divorce, there are many moving parts that must be addressed, ranging from the legal aspect to your mental health. When you understand the dos and don’ts, things become a little easier to manage.