How to Support Your Teen When Moving to College

Hey there, fellow parents! Today we’re diving into a topic that’s close to my heart: helping our teens transition to college. Grab your favorite mug of joe, and let’s chat about this wild ride we’re on.

The time when your teen finally books in movers and moving off to college is a huge deal, right? Our babies are spreading their wings, and we’re left wondering where the time went. I remember when my oldest was packing up for college – I was a mess of emotions, trying to keep it together while secretly wanting to stuff her back into her crib. But here’s the thing: this is their time to shine, and our job is to be their biggest cheerleaders from the sidelines.

Let’s break down how we can support our kids without smothering them (because we all know that temptation is real).

The Emotional Rollercoaster

First things first, let’s talk feelings. Our teens are on an emotional rollercoaster, and guess what? So are we. One minute they’re excited about decorating their dorm, the next they’re panicking about making friends. And us? We’re bouncing between pride and sheer terror.

Here’s what I’ve learned: it’s okay to feel all the feels. The key is creating an open space for your teen to share what’s on their mind. I found that car rides were perfect for this. Something about being side-by-side, not face-to-face, made my daughter open up about her fears and hopes.

And parents, don’t forget to process your own emotions. I may have shed a few tears into my coffee mug, and that’s perfectly fine. We’re human, after all.

Prepping for College Life

Now, onto the practical stuff. We’ve spent years teaching our kids, but suddenly it feels like there’s so much more they need to know. Laundry, budgeting, cooking something other than ramen – the list goes on.

I turned this into a fun challenge with my daughter. We had “adulting boot camps” where we tackled a new life skill each week. It became a bonding experience, and I got to sneak in some extra time with her before she left.

Packing was another adventure. My pro tip is to make a list together but resist the urge to pack their entire childhood room. They need space (literally and figuratively) to create their new home. Plus, it’s a great excuse for them to come back and visit when they need that special sweater you both “forgot” to pack.

The Big Move

Moving day is intense; there are no two ways about it. I tried to keep things light, cracking jokes about how many pairs of shoes one person really needs (spoiler: apparently, all of them). But I also made sure to give my daughter space to set up her room her way. It’s tempting to take over, but this is their chance to create their own space. Let them manage their own student move experience and let them organize and compare moving quotes from moving companies and even sort out what they ultimately want to move with them. It’s part of the growing up experience.

When it came time to say goodbye, I kept it short and sweet. Trust me, a long, drawn-out farewell is tough on everyone. Instead, I gave her a big hug, told her how proud I was, and reminded her that home is just a phone call away. My advice is if they’re taking their car and making the long drive interstate to university then make sure they they’re not doing the trip solo, it a long arduous trip driving long distance if they’re not use to it. In my scenario, I booked an interstate car transporter and had them do the hard work, and the car arrived 5 days later. I dropped my daughter off at the airport and I waited until I was back in the car to have my ugly cry moment (no shame in that game).

The Art of Letting Go (Without Losing Touch)

Once they’re settled, the real challenge begins: finding the balance between staying connected and letting them spread their wings. It’s so tempting to text them every five minutes, but resist that urge!

I found that setting up a regular check-in time worked wonders. We had a standing Sunday night FaceTime date. It gave us both something to look forward to, and it meant I wasn’t constantly wondering if I should call.

When problems arise (and they will), try to guide rather than solve. When my daughter called frantic about a paper, my first instinct was to jump in and fix it. Instead, I took a deep breath and asked, “What do you think you should do?” It wasn’t easy, but watching her problem-solve on her own was incredibly rewarding while learning how to best support my college student.

Care packages are another great way to show love without being overbearing. I’d send little reminders of home – her favorite snacks, funny family photos, and once, a pair of fuzzy socks just because. It’s not about the stuff; it’s about letting them know you’re thinking of them.

Navigating the Tough Stuff

Homesickness is real, folks. There were nights when my daughter called, clearly upset, and all I wanted to do was drive up there and bring her home. But here’s the thing: it’s normal, and it passes.

Instead of trying to fix it, I listened. I reminded her of the resources available on campus – the counseling center, student groups, even the RA down the hall. Encouraging her to reach out and make connections on campus was key.

And setbacks? They happen. Whether it’s a bad grade, a fight with a roommate, or just a rough day, remind your teen that it’s all part of the journey. Share your own college mishaps (we all have them). It helps them see that one bad day doesn’t define their whole experience.

Taking Care of You

Alright, parents, let’s talk about us for a minute. This is a big transition for you, too, and it’s okay to feel a bit lost at first. I found myself wandering into my daughter’s empty room, not sure what to do with myself.

But here’s the exciting part: you get to rediscover yourself! Remember those hobbies you put on hold? That book club you never had time for? Now’s your chance. I dusted off my old painting supplies and started creating again. It was therapeutic and reminded me that I’m more than just “Mom.”

Staying connected with your partner is crucial, too. My husband and I started having regular date nights again. It was like we were getting to know each other all over again without kids interrupting every five minutes.

And don’t forget your village. Connecting with other parents who are going through the same thing can be incredibly comforting. We started a monthly “empty nesters” brunch, and let me tell you, the mix of tears and laughter over mimosas is therapeutic.

Embracing the New Chapter

As we navigate this new phase, remember that it’s a learning experience for everyone. Your relationship with your teen is evolving, and that’s beautiful. They’re becoming adults, and you get to witness their growth from a new perspective.

I’ve found that this transition has deepened my relationship with my daughter in ways I never expected. Our conversations are richer, and I’m getting to know her as the adult she’s becoming. It’s challenging at times but incredibly rewarding.

So, fellow parents, as we embark on this college journey with our kids, let’s embrace the change. It’s okay to miss them fiercely, to worry, and to feel a bit lost. But it’s also okay to enjoy this new phase of life. Pour yourself another cup of coffee, take a deep breath, and remember: you’ve prepared them for this moment, and now it’s their time to soar.

And hey, if you need a virtual shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate the small victories with, I’m here. We’re all in this together, navigating the crazy, beautiful world of parenting young adults. So, here’s to new beginnings, unexpected joys, and the endless pride of watching our kids find their place in the world.