Navigating Breakups: How To Cope In The Aftermath Of A Split

Most of us will go through at least one breakup in our lifetimes. It’s rare to fall head over heels in love with your first partner and stay together forever. The divorce rate in the US is currently 2.4 per 1,000 people, which is significantly higher than the global average of 1.6. Going through a breakup can be traumatic, even if you made the decision to end the relationship or you’re on good terms with your ex. If you’re currently navigating life after a split, here are some tips to help you cope. 

Communicate

Communication is critical when a relationship breaks down, especially if you are married, or you have children together. Try to be open and honest with your ex-partner and be civil. Some people split on brilliant terms, and they remain friends, but this is not always the case.

You don’t have to be best buddies with your former partner, but it can help to smooth and accelerate the divorce process and make it less painful if you can communicate effectively. If you have questions or things on your mind, talk to your ex about them.

This can provide clarity and closure. You can also work together to identify solutions and adjust to a new normal if you share children or you own assets together, such as a business or real estate. 

In addition to communicating with your ex, it’s essential to open up about how you feel when you are ready to do so. You can talk to friends or family members, see a therapist, or take advantage of online or in-person support groups.

Some people want to talk to people they know, and they find being around friends and relatives reassuring, but others feel more comfortable talking to strangers. Group sessions are helpful because they connect you with people who are in the same boat and understand your experiences. Don’t push yourself to be open if you’re still feeling shell-shocked or you need more time. Wait until you’re ready. 

Seek expert advice

Negotiating a divorce is complex, especially if you have children or you share assets. The thought of going through this process can be daunting, but the reality of divorce can be even more anxiety-inducing. A divorce is a legal process which is often very complicated.

Even if the split was amicable and both parties are willing to move quickly, it can be stressful and time-consuming. If you’re filing for divorce, one of the most important steps to take is to find a firm to represent you and fight your corner.

Look for lawyers who have expertise in the relevant area. Consider your requirements and preferences. You might want to search for family lawyers with a brilliant track record or focus on finding high net worth divorce attorneys. Ask for recommendations, read client testimonials and schedule calls or meetings. Get to know lawyers before you decide who to hire. It’s crucial that you have confidence in the team. You want to be sure that your lawyers will do everything possible to get a fair result. 

When you’re searching for divorce lawyers, it’s wise to organize a call or consultation and go in with a list of questions. Gather information and use your intuition. Take your time to compare quotes and services and think about which firm will do the best job. 

Make the most of your support system

It’s wonderful to spend time with friends and family members when all is rosy, but the relationships you have with others take on more importance than ever when times are tough. If you’re going through a breakup, make the most of your support network.

Lean on family members, reach out to your closest friends, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. This may involve calling a friend when you need advice, organizing a girl’s night to distract from the stresses of everyday life, or going to visit your mom or sister if you need a hug.

It may mean getting away for a weekend or asking if somebody could help out with babysitting or doing the school run. It might be getting a team together to help with packing boxes to move house or seeing if friends could pop by just for a bit of company. 

Many of us are reluctant to ask for help. Try to avoid pushing people away and accept favors or invitations if you know in your heart of hearts that you want to accept them. There’s no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. Think about how you treat your friends and relatives and let them protect, help, and support you in the same way. 

Prioritize self-care

When you go through difficult times, it’s common to let self-care slide, but during these periods, it’s more important than ever to focus on looking after yourself. If you’re a parent or you care for elderly parents, you may go into overdrive doing everything possible to take care of them, but this shouldn’t come at a price. Take time for yourself, too. It’s natural to want to go above and beyond to look after children during a divorce, but to be the best parent, you have to be in good health.

Self-care simply involves looking after yourself. Simple things like making sure you eat enough, choosing healthy foods, and trying to exercise regularly can make a big difference. Allow yourself time to rest and recover. Don’t feel guilty if you need a break and you want to grab a coffee with a friend or go for a walk or jog. Everyone needs time out.

Divorce is one of the most common causes of stress. A UK study from 2021 revealed that over 50% of parents experience stress, anxiety, or depression at work after going through a divorce.

Stress can affect your physical and mental health. If you feel stressed, use self-help techniques to lower stress levels. Examples include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, listening to music, doing creative activities, taking regular breaks, and getting plenty of rest. If you have severe stress, seek medical advice. 

Let yourself feel

Some people are very good at allowing themselves to experience and express emotions, but many of us automatically try to suppress or bottle emotions up. It’s beneficial to let yourself feel. Don’t fight your natural, instinctive emotions or worry if you’re up and down.

It’s natural to feel a broad spectrum of emotions. One day, you might feel bereft, isolated, or lonely, and the next, you might feel relieved or enjoy a sense of freedom. Don’t feel guilty if you’re not sad all the time or beat yourself up if you feel awful and you’re not back to ‘normal’ as quickly as you hoped.

It takes time to process a split, understand what happened, and heal. Don’t rush yourself, apply too much pressure, or compare yourself to others. Some people may be out on dates or spending time with friends and living it up within weeks, while others won’t come out of their shells for months or even years. Go at your own pace. 

Breaking up with your partner can be a traumatic experience. It’s natural to go through a roller coaster of emotions and to find the process tough. If you’ve recently split with your ex or you’re going through a divorce, make the most of your support system, give yourself time to heal, and seek expert advice. Talk when you feel ready; don’t pressure yourself into moving on or compare yourself to others, and allow yourself to feel and process different emotions.